Breastfeeding Article
From the Diary
of a Nursing Mother
by Monika Kinner-Whalen
 Liam
is not born yet. This is my ninth pregnancy and my dearly
awaited second child. My belly is enormous, but my breasts
look the same as before. I wonder if I’m even making
milk. I just can’t wait to nurse again. I nursed my
first son for 15 months, weaning him in order to become pregnant.
After so many losses, I regret weaning him, too soon in my
opinion.
A good
friend makes a wish for me at my Blessingway ceremony: “I
hope Liam is an excellent nurser”. That wish has always
been my favorite. Still I wonder, where’s all the milk?
Liam is
born! Let me elaborate… Liam is born sucking! Wow, can
this kid ever eat! He weighs ten and a half pounds. Everyone
warned me that big babies nurse like twins. No kidding. I
can hardly believe how strong his instinct to eat is. He latched
on without any difficulties. After only a day he is already
able to latch off and on all on his own. This is amazing.
 He
has feasted on colostrum for a couple days now. He suckles
voraciously for hours at a time, only to be plucked off me
so that I can get up to go pee! Upon my return, he was handed
back to me because he began gnawing on someone else’s
shoulder.
I left
Liam tummy down on the bed while I scooted off to the bathroom.
Upon my return, I found him with his mouth wide open, grunting,
and literally banging his face up and down on the mattress.
He was rooting for food. I broke down crying, calling out
for someone to bring the kid a cheeseburger. No such luck.
Oh well, it’s nothing a little lansinoh can’t
fix. I continue on.
It’s
the end of day two now. My milk came in! My starving sleepy
little nursling suddenly popped his eyes wide open as he was
forced to GULP - GULP - GULP the fast flow of milk. He gulped
for five minutes as I did all that I could to not burst out
laughing. I could actually hear the milk splash down to his
gut with every swallow. Splash! Splash! Splash! In no time
he was sound asleep. It was the first time he had ever felt
full, and it knocked him right out.
It’s
day four and oh my, I am so engorged that my breasts look
like giant overblown balloons. The areolas are bursting out,
making my breasts pear shaped. They are as hard as concrete.
Still Liam has no problem latching on. He’s so hungry,
he’s really not going to let anything get in his way.
Day seven
– the one week weigh-in indicates that Liam has already
surpassed his birth weight. Look out! They say milk production
is all supply and demand. The demand is there, now here comes
the supply! Poor little guy. I’m afraid I’ll drown
him. I’m surprised he never throws up. He absorbs every
drop. Those receiving blankets are used by me to save everyone
within ten feet from being absolutely soaked with milk. I
could hose down a burning building with one breast.
There
is nothing more gorgeous that the scent of a breastfed baby…
aaaaah! Nothing can compare, and there is simply no way to
describe it.
Sweet
little nursling! The more I breast feed him, the deeper the
dimples on his knuckles become.
I am constantly
smelling butter, like hot buttered popcorn or something. My
midwife mentions that green poop means baby is getting foremilk,
and yellow poop means baby is getting the creamy hind milk.
How hard we laughed when we realized it was the smell of baby’s
poops! He’s not getting the cream… he is getting
the butter!
I’m
a little confused. I still don’t recognize my son’s
feeding cue. He doesn’t actually cry for milk. In the
night, he wakes me up to nurse by panting and grunting and
rooting around on the bed. He’s two months old, and
I realize that he has never cried. What a tough baby.
Liam is
getting older. He’s twelve weeks old now. I left him
with papa for a couple hours. Upon my return, my husband desperately
called out, “Quick! Give him your breast!” I laughed.
When baby heard my voice he nearly jumped out of his father’s
arms and started laughing and crying all at once. I quickly
grabbed him and lifted my shirt. With a loud yelp he latched
himself on so forcefully. After a few gulps, he stopped to
simply gaze into my eyes and smile at me. “Oh my baby
you are so welcome! I love you too!” I sighed compassionately.
He giggled and kicked as he turned to finish his meal. Awe,
he is such a grateful nursling. That just makes it all worthwhile.
Today
we nursed outside in the sunshine. What a lucky baby.
I asked,
“baby want num-nums?!” and he squealed with laughter,
kicking and crying at the same time. I love this! He’s
old enough to show delight in the relationship created by
breastfeeding. I’m so glad I didn’t give up because
now all the other benefits for baby become really evident.
Liam is more social and emotionally communicative. It’s
just so beautiful to nurse him. He’s so gracious.
Liam rolls
over with an open mouth, searching for milk in his sleep.
In the dark of night when I can never see exactly where he
is, he is always able to find me even with his eyes closed.
This is remarkable! In the night he is nesting now. I love
to feel him nuzzle up to me. Even if I stay up later than
him, I always return to find him sleeping against my pillow
or quilt just because it smells like me. That is so sweet
how much a babe needs their mama.
Liam is
five months old already. I now can recognize his hunger cue…
when he grabs my shirt and throws himself headfirst at my
chest, that means he is hungry.
This boy
is crazy! He just looks at me and begins to giggle and drool.
He’s six months old now. I made him wait to nurse because
I was cooking. When I got to him, I hardly had my shirt up
when he dove down to my belly and latched on to my tummy.
I give him ten points for determination.
Big brother
must remember all this. He has amazing instincts. One little
wince from the baby and Corbin calls out that it’s time
to give him some breast milk. Corbin always asks to sit beside
me when I nurse. He watches with dreamy eyes and pets his
baby brother softly on the head during the feeding. How sweet.
How much love I feel in the room! I am so proud to have nursed
my children.
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